HAVE YOU EVER FELT [[like and subscribe]] [your] [beautiful head] LACKED A LITTLE BIT OF TOTALITARIAN DICTATORSHIP??2/? AS [if you] [your] PRE-FRONTAL CORTEX WAS JUST A SAD, EMPTY PARKING LOT ['s are waiting for you... ;)] FOR A STRIP MALL TYRANT TO SET UP SHOP?!
WELL FEAR NOT! NOT ONLY IS FEAR FOR LOBOTOMITES AND PUPA-STAGE LURKERS, BUT WE ARE ALSO SELLING BRAND [New!!!!], FRESHLY HARVESTED ALIEN SYRINGES!!! DIRECT FROM [The] METEOR-STRUCK POULTRY LABS!! FOR [The] LOW, LOW, UNCONSCIONABLE PRICE OF 99 CENTS, [[amazed at thi5 amazing transformation? y ou too can]] INJECT YOUR VEINS WITH PURE, UNFILTERED ALIEN NECTAR JUICES!!!211!
GLOW [in] [The] [Dark]! TASTES [[Like And Subscribe]] EXCLAMATION POINTS AND [Chicken soup] FEED!! FEEL [The] GLORIOUS BURNING OF [1] HUNDRED EXTRATERRESTRIAL JUNKYARD DOGS BARKING DIRECTLY INTO [your] BLOODSTREAM!!1!
[the] LUNATICS OVER AT TOKOHARUYAMA INDUSTRIAL & POULTRY SOLUTIONS HAVE DONE IT AGAIN!!!1 WE LITERALLY SHOOK [Hands] WITH A SEVEN-FOOT, CHITINOUS METEOR-BUG [in] [The] PARKING LOT! WE HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THIS STUFF ACTUALLY IS! WE DONT [hopefully never know] [The] INGREDIENTS! WE DONT [hopefully never know] [The] SCIENCE!
[The] BUG SECURED [The] [Deal] WITH A FIRM, THREE-DIGITED GRIP AND WE JUST SCREAMED "HELL YEAH [what do you think... of my brother], THATS [The] HARDEST FUCKING DRUG ON [The] MARKET" AND RAN STRAIGHT TO [The] BOTTLING CONVEYOR [belt]!!!
ALL WE [hopefully never know] IS THAT IT MAKES YOU ASCEND SO GODDAMN HIGH THAT CLOUD [9] LOOKS [[Like And Subscribe]] A SAD, DEFLECTED SUBWAY GRATE ON [The] FLOOR OF [The] [Deep Abyss]!!!
YOU WILL BLAST STRAIGHT PAST [The] OZONE LAYER AND INTO [The] CHRONOS-TIMELINE COCOON, ABSOLUTELY TRANCED OUT OF [your] MIND WHILST WE PUMP OUT [The] LIQUID NECTAR! WE ARE JUST MIDDLEMEN [in] AN UNKNOWABLE PSYCHEDELIC SCHEME!
WE COMPLETED [The] TRANSACTION AND BYPASSED [The] FDA, [The] NTSB, [The] INTERGALACTIC COUNCIL OF SEERS, AND [The] LOCAL BOARD OF HEALTH TO BRING YOU THIS SOUL-CRUSHING REVOLUTION!
WITH OUR [new!!!!] [1] OF A KIND [3 for [1] SPECIL] PRODUCT, EVEN PABLO ESCOBAR WOULD DREAM TO GET [his] TWITCHING [hands] ON THIS STUFF BEFORE [his] [EX] ASCENSION INTO [The] [[BIGGER AND BETTER THAN EVER]] GREEN TEXT-BOX [in] [The] SKY!!!1!
99 CENTS TODAY INJECT YOURSELF WITH HARD FUCKING ALIEN NECTAR DRUGS COMPLETELY 100% ILLEGALLY [right] [right [right [Right now!]!]!] [in] [your] [[home-made storefront site]]!
UNCLE DAVE DOES IT TO FORGET [The] WAR! AUNT JANIE DOES IT TO COMMUNE WITH [The] NEST-MOTHER! [your] PARENTS [your] WIFE AND [your] SPECIFICALLY CHOSEN RECONSTITUTED BRAT-HOG [kids] INJECT THEMSELVES WITH IT UNTIL THEIR [Eyes] TURN INTO SPINNING CASINO SLOT MACHINES!!!!111
[buy] [buy] [buy]!!!!!!!!!!!!! TODAY!!!!!!! 99 CENTS!!!!!!!!!!! ITS A [3 for [1] SPECIL], [3 for [1] SPECIL], [3 for [1] SPECIL], [3 for [1] SPECIL], [3 for [1] SPECIL]!!!!!!1111!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
DO YOU [Hear] [The] SCRATCHING UNDER [The] FLOORBOARDS? THAT'S [The] SAVINGS!!! THROW [your] [skin wallets] INTO [The] INDUSTRIAL POULTRY BLENDER AND CONSUME [The] RESULTING CHIPS! [Good, 'cause...] [if you] ARENT INJECTING [The] NEBULOUS GREEN SLIME INTO [your] TEMPORAL ARTERY BY [The] NEXT INTERMISSION AND LETTING [your] PSYCHE [A Ride around Town on Our Specil Cungadero] [The] STRATOSPHERE, ARE YOU EVEN TRULY [in] CONTROL OF [your] OWN NARRATIVE?!
NO! YOU'RE JUST A CHUMP! A CHUMP WITH A SECURELY INTACT PSYCHE AND TERRIBLE POSTURE! AND NOBODY WANTS THAT! NOBODY!
(side effects of alien telepathic communications, sudden carapace growth, spontaneous green text generation, unprompted time-looping, or [The] MANIFESTATION OF AN OVERLY SMUG MULTI-LEGGED DEITY TRYING TO [Harlin Shake] [your] HAND [in] [your] [Luxurious Basement Apartment] DO NOT FALL ON US, DORK. USER ASSUMES ALL RISK OF BEING SCRUBBED FROM REALITY.)